Want to Be a Great Wedding Guest? Here's a Not-To-Do List

A few days ago we did an interview for Fox News, sharing wedding-day horror stories about rude or tacky guest behavior. For fun we thought we'd recap a few here. All the stories are true. Here are some things you should never do at a wedding:

• Arrive less than 10 minutes early. Every wedding has a few latecomers, typically right when the bride is ready to walk down the aisle. More than once all the bridesmaids have entered, the music changes to signal the bride's imminent entry, the doors swing open... and ten people rush in and struggle to find seats. (We've even seen brides have to stop mid-aisle to wait for late arrivals who decide they'd rather sit on the other side of the aisle - and pick that moment to change seats.) The bride's entry is a huge moment - don't spoil it by being late. If you are running behind, linger outside until you know the bride has walked the aisle, then slip in the back relatively unnoticed.
• Leave your devices on. Sounds simple, but at probably 1 out of 4 weddings someone's cell phone rings. You're not that important - turn if off for twenty minutes.
• Dress down. While you may want to be comfortable (who doesn't), dressing up for the wedding shows respect for the bride and groom. If you're not sure what to wear, ask. Over-dressed is always better than under-dressed. Weddings aren't the time to express your individuality.
• Mob the bride and groom immediately after the service. Some guests make a beeline to hug the bride and groom once the ceremony is over. It's a nice gesture, but it spoils any chance the newly married couple has to enjoy a semi-private moment together. Give them a chance to enjoy each other for a couple of minutes - it's the last private time they'll have until the reception is over.
• Complain about the food. The bride and groom likely spent a lot of time planning the menu, even if it's simple and straightforward. There's no way they can accommodate everyone's tastes - don't expect them to. If you don't like what's available, nibble a little and then grab a bite on the way home. While you may think you're complaining about the caterer, in effect you're ultimately criticizing the bride and groom... after all, they chose the food.
• As a matter of fact, complain about anything - or anyone. The bride and groom want their day to be perfect. Sure, another wedding may have been more fun, or more lavishly catered, or had a better band... but who cares? Comments you make are bound to be overheard - don't spoil the couple's day by complaining or gossiping. If you must, save it until you get home.
• Make the wedding about you. Getting drunk and having to be carried out (literally) by security and loaded into the back of an SUV may sound like a funny story to tell your friends later, but for the guests... not so much. Undressing on the dance floor? Making a 15-minute toast explaining how important you are to the bride, instead of talking about how important she is to you? Deciding the bride has to throw her bouquet instead of giving it to her grandmother as she planned? Trying to change the reception schedule, on the spot, without even consulting the couple, because you're positive your way will be a lot more fun? Throwing a fit because the groom doesn't want a posed family photo that includes the guy you met a week ago? In the light of day those don't sound like good ideas, but we've seen every one of them happen. Let the bride and groom set the tone for the wedding, and act accordingly. It's their wedding, not yours.
  

Historic Sites as Wedding Locations

We've noticed that couples are increasingly using historic sites as their wedding locations. Churches, resorts, and wineries are still popular choices, but many couples seem to be looking for something a little different. With a little research you can find a wide variety of venues offering a wide variety of services and amenities.


Some, like the Cyrus McCormack Farm in Steeles Tavern, VA (not too far from Lexington) simply let you use the grounds; everything else is up to you and your vendors to provide. Others, like Charlottesville's Ash Lawn (James Monroe's home) can provide everything, including on-site kitchen facilities for your caterer, tents, a pavilion... basically it's a full-service location.

Finding a spot in your area is easy. Use search terms like "historic wedding site fairfax" or "wedding location historic richmond" and you can find the local government site listing venues. For example, here's the site for Fairfax County, and here's the site for Prince William County. Another added bonus: Costs also tend to be somewhat lower than at for-profit locations.